Mar 25, 2013

The Swimming Tales..!!!

"It was all wet around, I couldn't decipher if it was water or sweat! The panic had completely fogged out all the rationality! I tried to rub it off my eyes! I had to search the person responsible! And there I found him in the pool, moving across the water! My immediate reaction - You ASS#@$$%##$...!!! I never realized how long I kept the curses on for! The best thing however was the response I heard - hey what happened, man!? (That moment when you'd do anything to bang your head in wall or the relevant person's!)"

Rewind...

One of the many things which is yet to be checked on my check-list is to learn swimming. I have been amazingly successful at giving up the innumerable instances where I have started to learn it and then "poof" something happens, and I stop. Since coming to Europe, its even bigger an embarrassment when you go off to the lakes with your friends and they jump into water, asking you to join them. The only thing I could muster up with courage and a faint smile is the very well known "I don't know swimming!". The immediate question which follows is, "are you aqua-phobic?" (Oh yeah, if not knowing to swim was not embarrassing enough!) But yeah this I was not. (Yeah definitely not! Except for the scene of being surrounded by sea at night!) Now that coming to Europe gave me the freedom of making my schedules, completely based on my rational thoughts (Oh boy!), my immediate thought was learn swimming. (Quite obviously!)

Over a period I tried to figure how to move around in water (ofcourse not with my legs!). I remember in Germany, a friend and me used to visit the pools and we would try to move around and compete as by how many inches(ahem!we managed move. Since I moved to Linz, I decided that it was time to manipulate these inches to meters or centimeters, atleast. Apparently I found another friend who knew how to swim. That brought a smile and I was of the opinion, finally I might be able to learn it. (Haha, Mr.Fate had other thoughts!). On a particular Sunday, my friend and I decided to venture the pools and I had hoped he would teach me a few techniques.

Before entering the water-
Me - "Dude, so how do I go about it?"
Friend - "I dont know, just move your arms and legs." (WTF..!!!)
Me (with the most confused expression ever)- "You sure, you know swimming!"
Friend - "Hahahahahaha...!"
Me - "Dei, I am serious!" 

The next comment of his was the remaining part of the event that followed.

Friend - "Just move your arms like this, flap your legs, and move towards the deeper part of the water, you'll learn it automatically. It starts subconsciously!!!"

I immediately remembered the lectures given at my bachelors college. The reason you ask, they were the worst lectures ever, but after hearing to this comment, all of that made a lot more sense than this. But that's not the worst part yet. So I decided to play a bit with my subconscious. The only sensible part of the evening I did was to take a pool buoy, and try to venture into the deep part, more than 1.8 m deep. I was happy with the distance I was covering and got a bit confident there. And just then, the pool buoy slips out of my hands, panic sets in, and I submerge in water. I try to wave my hands so that my friend or someone would take notice, but no one was around (We had to go on a Sunday!). The second sensible part of the evening, for some reason I kept swimming close to the edges of the pool. After around 15-20 seconds, (which felt like an hour) I saw a railing around the edge, which became my only hope. One leap, and somehow I manage to catch it and was able to lift myself off water. I was wondering all the time, how come my friend didn't see me waving my arms. Oh well, he was busy swimming somewhere else in the pool.

Well lesson learnt there, my next swimming lesson is going to be with a PROFESSIONAL, PERIOD!

After all that verbose of swearing, my friend earned the title "WORST TEACHER EVER!"